Protect Yourself: Excerpts from The Children's Partnership's Parents' Guide to the Information Superhighway
Introduction
The information age is arriving at lightning speed. Children and young people are among the most active citizens of the new era, and are often first in their family to use the new media. Some parents and other guardians of young people are enthusiastic about the new technologies; others desperately hope these changes will just go away.
However, there is little doubt that computers are here to stay and that they're changing the way young people learn, play, and get ready for their work life.
How can a parent teach, when there's so much to learn? This new challenge may seem unlike any other you've faced before as a parent. But, in fact, many of the answers lie in common sense, some basic experience, regular vigilance, and sensible guidelines for children.
Why Should You Care About Computers and the Information Superhighway?
First, because information literacy skills will increasingly be expected of young people. Young people fluent in information resources will likely have advantages in the workplace. Second, this new resource may hold special educational and other opportunities for your child as the online world can bring diverse experiences to young people. And, finally, more and more children are taking the lead to get online and need strong parental guidance to use this new medium as a rich opportunity for learning.
When Is Your Child Ready?
Very little formal research has been done to understand how information technology affects children of different ages and when is the "right time" to start various activities. Also, children differ in their development and maturity, so parents should first consider their own child's emotional development and abilities. But common sense, combined with advice from child development experts, suggests some age-appropriate guidelines.
Unlike some other areas of a child's growth, a parent should not treat computer use as a development milestone. There are no "shoulds" in this arena like "a child should walk by 15 months." The main thing to keep in mind is that the online world offers children a new set of experiences, another world to explore. It is also a new resource to help satisfy a child's seemingly endless curiosity and find answers to those amazing questions kids constantly come up with.
Many of the tips in this section apply to more than one age group. We have placed the tip in the age group where it is first applicable.
Ages 2-3:
Computers need not play much of a role in the youngest child's life. However, it doesn't hurt for very young children to see family members using computers and enjoying themselves online at a library, at a community center, or at home.
At this time, stand-alone computers using CD-ROMs or other software (rather than online activities) are most likely to have what children this age need. Parenting magazines and some nonprofit organizations publish reviews of software that may be helpful.
Put your child in your lap as you "play" on the computer.
Put your hand on your child's to show him or her the way the mouse works.
Children like to play with the equipment: start slowly letting them learn about the keyboard (some are especially designed for children), the mouse, etc.
Look for books and children's video programs like Sesame Street that include images of children and family members using a computer. These can provide important exposure and encourage interest.
Ages 4-7:
While serious computer use isn't a priority for these youngsters, children at this age can begin to make greater use of computer games and educational products. Once again, parents of children this age can look to CD-ROMs and other computer software for early computer learning. Older children in this age group can also begin exploring online children's sections with their parents. This kind of exposure with a young child is a great way for a parent to get involved with new media. Yes, children do learn intuitively and quickly, but at this age they still depend on parents for reading and interpreting directions. This makes a shared computer experience a valuable give and take experience.
Spend as much time as you can with your child while he or she uses the computer.
Use actual experiences to demonstrate proper behavior and rules.
Show lots of tangible results and achievements. For example, print work your child has done on the computer.
Share an e-mail address with your child, so you can oversee his or her mail and discuss correspondence.
As children go to school, check in with teachers so you can coordinate and reinforce school learning with home learning.
Look to librarians and various parenting magazines for suggestions of good online activities.
Ages 8-11:
This age is when children can begin to directly experience and appreciate more fully the potential of online experiences. Children can begin to use online encyclopedias and download pictures and graphics for school reports. They can also begin to have pen pals from many places, exchanging stories with far-away relatives and online friends, and even doing shared school projects.
It is also a very important age to set guidelines, teach values, and monitor closely what children are doing. As children move toward independence, it is important that you stay "hands-on" and help guide them to enriching and appropriate materials.
Another important reality is that children of this age are being targeted by programmers and advertisers as an important commercial market. Media literacy, helping children evaluate content and understand what's behind advertising, is an important skill to teach.
Set very clear rules for online use and clear consequences if they are broken.
Instruct children not to order products or give out information about themselves or their family without your permission.
Coordinate home with school activities.
Teach children to let you know if they encounter anything scary or unusual online.
Help children understand the nature of commercial information and how to think about it.
Discuss some of the unique aspects of behavior in cyberspace, like anonymity and what it means for your child and for others.
Watch the time. Use an alarm clock or timer if you or your child lose track of time.
Watch your phone and credit card bills.
Ages 12-14:
At this age, young people can use the more sophisticated research resources of the information superhighway, accessing everything from the Library of Congress collection to magazines and newspapers to original letters and archives from around the globe. Similarly, they can work with people in remote places on shared projects and can learn from speaking online to leading authorities on nearly any subject. In addition, many young teenagers are interested in "chatting." Most online commercial services have chat rooms that are appropriate for preteens and teenagers. There, kids can chat (via typing on their computer) to others who share their interests. A parents' job is to stay in as close touch as possible (a tough task at times).
Since children this age are more likely to explore on their own, set up clear parental rules, limits, and periodic check-ins.
Continue to explore together as much as possible.
Give children a basic understanding of the laws governing online behavior and the consequences of breaking them.
Set clear rules about time spent in chat groups and which ones are acceptable.
Be sure your children understand the actions that can be taken if people harass them online or do anything inappropriate.
Set a budget for online expenses and monitor it.
Pay particular attention to games that your teenager might download or copy. Many are great fun, but others are extremely violent. Parents need to set limits about what is acceptable and what is not.
Ages 15-18:
The online world is a rich resource for older teens.They can receive information about job opportunities, internships, and colleges and universities; put together multimedia reports; get specialized help with a foreign language or a subject at school; and find out just about anything else that interests them. They are also ingenious explorers, discovering new areas online and often meeting new friends. Of course, along with teens' increased curiosity, capability, and freedom come more ways to run into unpleasant or undesirable experiences. As with other activities at this age, parents can still find creative ways to keep in touch with their teenage children about online activities, and this connection is still important.
Ask your teenager for help researching topics of interest to the family (follow-up on a family discussion, family vacation, a new purchase).
Talk to your teenager about new things online and encourage discussion of new experiences.
Make sure your teenager knows the legal implications of online behavior.
Watch time limits to make sure your teenager is still pursuing a well-rounded set of activities.
If your teenager is especially interested in computers, encourage him or her to help younger children with their online explorations (try the local Boys or Girls Club) or to help a school or nonprofit organization get set up.
Girls: A League of Their Own
As they get older, girls use computers and online opportunities differently than boys. Many girls lose interest because, like with science and math, the computer world is more oriented to males. For example, video games and other software for home computer use are overwhelmingly developed for and marketed to boys. According to a variety of reports:
In elementary school, there is little difference between boys' and girls' computer use and ability.
By the mid-teen years, when computer courses are typically elective, the gender gap grows and continues to widen through college and graduate school. Three times as many men as women now earn computer science degrees.
Girls use home computers for school work more than boys, and use computer games far less.
Women are only half as likely to be online as men and half as likely to use the World Wide Web.
With so many jobs and much of the culture tapping into computers and information technology, mothers and fathers should do as much as possible to encourage girls' interest and experience with computers. They should be aware that their girls will need these skills as much as boys, and should let schools and computer and content providers know they want material that appeals to girls as well as to boys.
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