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Protect Yourself: Excerpts from The Children's Partnership's Parents' Guide to the Information Superhighway

Some Basic Rules for Parents

For most parents who are just starting with computers there's a simple rule: concentrate on experiencing the new technologies, not necessarily understanding them. You don't need to understand electronics to get cash from an automatic teller machine. You don't have to be able to build a car to drive one. You don't need to understand all that makes up a computer to see how your child will use one.
A quick trip to an electronics store, a public library, or an Urban League office can introduce you to computers, a wide variety of software, CD-ROMs, and online networks.People here are used to working with beginners. Once you begin to experience cyberspace, as the online world is called, it gets much easier to navigate.

Do Your Homework

Learning and playing with new technology can be integrated into your everyday life. When you go to the mall spend ten minutes with the computer display in the toy store or electronics store. Ask your school to set up a parent night or weekend so parents can see and learn. Ask teachers or librarians where in your community you can go to use a computer connected to the Internet.

Learn With Your Child

Computers can offer one of the best, most fun, and most challenging journeys that parents and children can share. Remember, studies show parental involvement is an important ingredient for educational success. Your goal is to learn and experience as much as possible with your child and make it enjoyable.

Be a Good Guide and Monitor

Your job (just like in other areas) is to explain, guide, make the rules and enforce them, and keep the whole thing focused on positive learning and fun. One of the best things about this new frontier is that it gives you rich, new opportunities to learn and play together with your child. Here are some tips:
Side by Side: You can help your child have a positive and balanced experience with the computer. The best approach is to start the process together. Set aside a regular time to work on the computer with your child. If he or she has had computer experience, let your child take the lead. It can be a great boost for self-confidence, at least for your child! Ask your child to explain what he or she is doing and why. Go down the highway together.
Talk with your child about what students are doing on computers at school, whether you have one at home or not. Ask to see what they have created on the computer. And invite friends, yours or your child's, to join in, too.
The Time Factor: Since you and your child are already strapped for time, perhaps the first place to look is television time. Family, friends, homework, school, and outside play are all very important for the healthy development of children, so try to shift TV time to computer time. (This shouldn't be that hard: studies show that children who use computers watch less TV.)
Monitor Computer Time: Keep the computer in a family area rather than in a child's room, at least to begin with.Keep an eye on the clock, and watch the phone and credit card bills (that's where charges for commercial online services or purchases show up). Check in regularly on what your child is doing.

Things to Do Online with Your Child

1. Visit the Library of Congress. Some of the most exciting things at the Library of Congress are the online exhibits, allowing the user to view an art collection or see a special event that is taking place at the Library. While the Library's site is mostly text-based and very good for research of various kinds, its graphics of exhibits are amazing. The site also provides a great beginner's guide to the Internet, more information than most people will ever need, but very thorough and useful.
2. Take a White House tour for kids, one of the most enjoyable things a young child can do online. With a very child-friendly, colorful, and easy-to-navigate layout, the cyber-tour gives a great deal of history and information on the White House and U.S. government in a fun, informative manner.
3. See what the space agency, NASA, has put online. Perhaps best suited for older kids, the NASA site contains information on all of the space agency's programs, an online library for research, and exhibits on recent space phenomena, such as the comets, Hubble Telescope, MIR, and the Galileo spacecraft. If you are interested in the Space Shuttle, there are special pages for all of its missions, including information on weather, orbits, a tour, and a special countdown page. Parents and teachers will find this site truly educational.
4. Visit exhibits from the San Francisco interactive science museum, the Exploratorium. The Exploratorium contains online exhibits that are changed and updated regularly. They are broken down into age categories, so there is something for all children here. Much of the material on the site is on the cutting edge of Web technology. If you have a slow Internet connection, some of this may take a long time to download. Memory tests, optical illusions, audio and video samplings, and a host of experiments to be done online and at home provide hours of educational fun.

How Can You Keep Your Child Safe Online?

The online world mirrors the real one: it includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. And, just like the real world, different parents have different standards for what they want their children to experience. This section is intended to give you a briefing on what you need to know to steer your child to safe, productive, and legal time online.

Parents in Charge

Parents are increasingly aware that certain information online is not appropriate for children, or is appropriate only for certain ages. Most parents have strong feelings about what their children should be exposed to and are concerned about how easy it is to get to information online. Parents worry about materials that are sexually explicit, violent, racially biased, and overly commercial.
The good news is there are now several ways for parents to limit where their children can go online and who can contact them. These technologies and services have limitations and are evolving at a fast pace, so parents need to be alert.
At this time, there are three major ways parents can attempt to restrict the material a child experiences online:

1. Use a Commercial Online Service That Offers Parental Control Features.

Probably the simplest blocking devices to use, and therefore a good start for a parent new to the online world, are the parental control features offered by commercial online services like America Online, CompuServe, Prodigy, and Microsoft Network. These services provide parental control mechanisms, and they have guidelines for appropriate behavior on their service. Moreover, many of these services have monitors who periodically check on behavior. Users who break the rules can, at a minimum, lose online privileges.
Parental control features you might want to look for in deciding whether to use a commercial service and in choosing among them include:
Clearly marked areas for children, with plenty of high-quality material that will keep a child engaged and that is screened for objectionable content. A clear set of rules for appropriate online behavior. Parental ability to block out discussion groups, chat rooms, and other areas that might contain objectionable material. Parents' ability to screen their child's e-mail. The blocking device's ability to control Internet and Web access through the commercial service.

2. Install Your Own Parental Control Software Product.

There are now a range of parental control software packages that you can purchase and install. Blocking devices can cover Web sites, newsgroups, and chat channels, among other things, and some allow parents to tailor restrictions. Some work with commercial service providers and some are for direct Internet access. Here are some of the approaches that different products use:
Some allow a parent or program to block out a specific online site or sites by name. The downside is that the number of sites is vast and constantly changing, so it is virtually impossible for a parent to keep up. However, some parental control programs give the user a regular update of sites and allow parents to choose which ones to block. Some blocking programs identify undesirable sites by searching for unacceptable words before allowing a child access. This list is updated periodically, and parents can purchase or subscribe to the ongoing updates. Some devices can also block entire categories of material such as those deemed suitable for adults only.Parents can enter a key word and block whole Internet features and destinations. Other software actually prevents children from giving out personal information online. This can be helpful for safety and to protect against exploitation of children. Still other devices restrict the time of day and duration of children's online sessions, and make certain areas of the Parents' hard drive inaccessible.
Some Blocking Devices You Can Buy*
Below is a list of some of the products on the market, including the names and phone numbers for ordering guides.
Cyber Patrol
Call 1-800-489-2001 for information.

CYBERsitter
Call 1-800-388-2761 for information.

Net Nanny
Call 1-800-340-7177 for information.

Be Sure to Find Out:
Whether the product has the protection features you are looking for
Whether the product can be used on the type of computer you have
Whether there is a subscription fee after you've bought the product
Whether the product works on commercial service providers, only on a direct Internet connection, or both

3. Use PICS (Platform for Internet Content Selection).

The World Wide Web Consortium, an industry consortium which develops common standards for the Web by producing specifications and reference software, is backed by many of the biggest online commercial companies. The Consortium has created a new way to help parents discern and restrict content for children. These "online protocols," called PICS, create a common language for labeling material on the Web. This means that different organizations, such as religious, civic, and educational groups, can issue ratings or guidelines (a labeling system) that a parent can use. This feature enables parents to use guidelines prepared by the organizations they trust. This new technology, along with guidelines from organizations, is expected to become more available. For further information, visit the Web site of the World Wide Web Consortium or call (617) 253-2613.
Other promising new products are under development, such as a v-chip for online activities. This new generation of devices could give parents even more effective options for controlling what their children have access to online.
Safety Tips for A New Medium
Although rare, there have been incidents where individuals have used the Internet to contact children and young people with the intent of harming them. Just like teaching a child to drive a car, you need to provide your child with some tools to help him or her stay safe. The common sense rules about caution with strangers apply just as strongly in cyberspace as in playgrounds or parks. This chapter will help you teach your children the important rules of the road.
There are several simple rules of safety that you and your child should agree on before going online. It might be a good idea to post these right by the computer.
Who to Call if You Have a Problem With Behavior Online
If you or your child are the victim of harassment or other trouble online, contact your commercial or Internet service provider immediately. Commercial online services have strict terms of service that help protect you and your child in the event you encounter offensive behavior. Offenders can have their accounts terminated, and service providers usually will cooperate with authorities when there is the possibility that a crime has been committed.
You can also call The Center for Missing and Exploited Children, which offers materials and assistance for parents whose children are at risk.
Your Child's Best Online Guide and Best Protection Is Always You
Your involvement in your child's online life is always the best insurance you can have of his or her safety. The most reliable strategy is to set aside a time each day or each week when you do online activities together. Learn with your children about fun things to do as well as about what to stay away from that makes you a partner in the experience, rather than a resented censor.
Staying Safe Online: A Young Person's Guide
ALWAYS tell your parents or another adult immediately if something is confusing or seems scary or threatening.
DON'T give out your full name, real address,telephone number, school name or location, schedule, password, or other identifying information when you're online. Check with an adult for any exceptions.
NEVER have a face-to-face meeting with someone you've met online. In rare cases, your parents may decide it's OK, but if you do decide to meet a cyberpal, make sure you meet in a public place and that a parent or other adult is with you.
NEVER respond online to any messages that use bad words or words that are scary, threatening, or just feel weird. If you get that kind of a message, print it out or make a copy, and tell an adult immediately. Many services have an "ignore" button that will stop an uncomfortable situation in live chats. Adults should contact the online service or appropriate agency.
NEVER go into a new online area that is going to cost additional money without first asking permission from your parent or teacher.
NEVER send a picture over the Internet or via regular mail to anyone without your parents' permission.
DON'T give out a credit card number online.
For more information and for answers to specific questions related to this guide, be sure to visit the Children's Partnership website.



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